How to De-stuff Your Calendar at the Holidays

I love my Mom’s stuffing! So I can’t wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas when I can eat some.

(Don’t celebrate these two holiday’s? No problem! This post addresses holiday calendar issues in general.)

But there is one kind of stuffing I don’t like around the holidays: an overstuffed calendar. Stuffing (or dressing) is one thing, stuffed animals are great, but a stuffed calendar just leads to overwhelm. How can you feel the joy of a holiday if you’re experiencing calendar overwhelm?

I’m going to give you the bottom-line first. Are you ready? If you already have a full calendar prior to the beginning of the holidays, you can’t expect to add new tasks or events and not experience a stuffed calendar. If you want to keep the same busy calendar, you must delete a current item before you add a holiday item. Just adding leads to a calendar overwhelm.

So what can you do to de-stuff your calendar?

Re-evaluate Holiday Habits: What have you “always done” that you don’t enjoy? Decide to eliminate activities that don’t bring you joy. Look at the calendar before you say “yes.” Don’t just look at the day or hours of the party, but check the days and hours around it to evaluate your overall level of busyness. This is especially important if you have a health condition that impacts your energy-level.

Exercise Your Right to Choose: Which holiday tasks/activities have the most meaning for you and those with whom you celebrate? You won’t be able to do or attend everything, so choose the ones that you will enjoy the most.

If a medical diagnosis is one reason why you decide not to participate in some activities, do not let shame or guilt derail your choice!

Set Strong Boundaries: I know “goals” can be an overwhelming word for some. Yet, it’s easier to set boundaries if you set specific aims. Yes, expect everyone to be involved. Maybe the intention is to see friends you haven’t seen in awhile. This may mean that you forgo office parties. Or the objective could be to enjoy good food without taking all the time for prep and clean-up. So the boundaries might include cooking recipes with less than eight ingredients, using some commercially-prepared food, and having others contribute dishes. Another boundary might include using disposal silverware or dishes for some gatherings. If you want a more solid boundary, plan to do half the number of activities that you would really like to.

Remember, your strongest boundary is to say “no!” Pro tip: you don’t have to give a reason for your “no.”

Conquer External Clutter: External clutter can be time-related or physical items. Managing the extra outside clutter of the holidays is a matter of practicing three skills: maintenance, diversion and delegation.

Maintenance consists of continuing to incoming items, including paper, as usual. The last thing you want is to get behind on bills, paperwork, or putting stuff away. So don’t let this slide. Carve out time to get this done on a regular basis.

At the same time, you need to divert new activities, tasks, and stuff as much as possible. This is not the time to start a new home project or buy cases of a product because it’s on sale. Wait until after the holidays to make major commitments around “new.”

Closely tied to diversion is the ability to delegate as much as possible. In this case, you can delegate your regular duties, your holiday jobs, or a combination. This might be the time to hire a personal concierge, personal assistant, or virtual assistant to help with task completion. Maybe family and friends can help with some of the holiday tasks. Or maybe you “multi-task.” Not something I usually suggest! But in this case, consider could inviting some friends over for conversation and gift-wrapping.

Prepare for Parties: You may not like the word “preparation” but it is crucial in the pursuit of a de-stuffed calendar. This doesn’t mean you need to have every last detail in place. The amount of planning is up to you. So whether it is your event or someone else’s, prepare in a way that enables you to feel relaxed and ready. This is crucial to your enjoyment.

Meals: Decide when you need “special” meals or dishes. Is it only for the main holiday dinner, for the whole time guests stay at your home, for parties you throw or attend? For instance, when Thanksgiving or Christmas is at my house, I only consider the dinner on the holiday as requiring a special meal. Any other meals we have while family is staying at my house are “regular meals.” Give yourself a break and consider catered or purchased food. You may say “but that’s so expensive!” Well, paying for ingredients, using time to shop, prepare and clean-up is also expensive, albeit most of it is in time. Which way do you want to pay?

Houseguests: If your guestroom serves dual purposes, start preparing the space now. Make the beds, clear out a bit of closet and dresser space, and get out towels. If you don’t have space in the bathroom for the towels, put them on the bed until their arrival. If you feel the guests need to be entertained while they are in town, decide on a couple of activities they can choose from but which don’t take an extraordinary amount of time or effort. Last but not least, don’t be afraid to ask for or accept help. You really don’t have to do it all.

If I could sum up calendar de-stuffing with one strategy, it would be to pause. If someone asks you to a party, pause and say “I need to look at my calendar. I’ll get back to you.” Then Re-evaluate Your Holiday Habits. If someone says, “We need to plan our annual trip to see the holiday lights” and that isn’t something you like to do, pause and Exercise Your Right to Choose as you say, “I know we’ve done that together for the past couple of years, this year I’d like to see if we can find another way to spend time together.” Your strongest de-stuffing tactic is to follow a pause with the word “no!”

Which of these five strategies will you use to prevent a stuffed calendar this holiday season?

Type your strategy below, along with any questions or comments.