“It’s either this or that!”

“It’s my way or the highway!”

Don’t you just hate feeling backed into a corner?

Those are the only options?

One day while I was walking on a nearby greenway, I could distinctly hear the words of a man (I’ll call him Larry) who’d been talking loudly for quite some time. He said, “If we don’t take this opportunity, we will never, ever, ever, ever, ever have another opportunity like this in our lifetime!”

Larry listened to the person on the other end of the call (I’ll call him Charles), then said, “It’s either this or bankruptcy.”

It appeared that Larry was in favor of the opportunity and Charles was hesitant.

This highlights a common issue: posing a decision as only two divergent choices often leads to analysis paralysis.

Alternatively, it can mean each person “digs in” to their opinion and can’t even “see” the other option.

Either way, there is an impasse.

Are you partial to creating winless situations?

In her book Feel the Fear…and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers highlights the fact that many people operate from this No-Win Model of decision-making.

As an example, let’s talk about selecting a place to have monthly massages (self-care!).  You’ve done tons of web research to check out features and reviews, as well as getting recommendations from friends.

Yes, you can go to a different place each time, yet consistency is much more appealing to you.  So you’ve tried several places and narrowed it down to two. While both spas have some common amenities, each one also has specialized services and features.

Now your mind chatter gets involved trying to decide which one is “perfect” for you. It also goes into overdrive with all of the things that could “go wrong” if you don’t make the correct choice. Meanwhile, your shoulders are killing you because you haven’t had a massage in three months! You’ve set up a No-Win choice because you are concentrating on the downside of making the “wrong choice.”

At any moment, one feels like the best option and the other appears to be the incorrect. Wait a little while, and your thoughts may be completely opposite.😊

While selecting a spa may seem inconsequential, the same process happens when buying a car, changing jobs, choosing a new doctor, moving, etc.

At any given time, you might have more then one paralyzing decision to make. Even if they are “smaller” decisions, when your mind chatter kicks in, the importance of the decision tends to grow.

Our brains are wired to “see” and “feel” the negative more readily than the positive. This negativity bias will continue unless you take intentional steps to overcome it. Ideas include challenging negative mind chatter, mindfulness, reinterpreting the situation from a positive perspective, and focusing on previous positive moments.

Here’s Another Possibility

The good news is that Susan Jeffers suggests an alternative: the No-Lose Model of decision-making.

Using the spa example above, in this No-Lose Model, both options are right. Each one has positive benefits and opportunities. So either one is a good choice.

EXAMPLE

A woman in her 40’s is diagnosed with celiac disease. Her husband and children do not have celiac disease. Two options: have everyone follow a strict gluten-free diet or have different sections in all food-storage locations and serve different meals.

If negativity bias sets in, the husband and children don’t want to eat gluten-free and the woman doesn’t want to cook two different meals. Nobody is happy about creating a “no gluten” zone in the kitchen, much less maintaining the separation.

Other ways to consider the situation include:

• focusing on the health benefits of a gluten-free lifestyle
• giving everyone a chance to find three gluten-free recipes that sound good to them
• separating gluten-free food by cleaning out the pantry and refrigerator
• intentionally choosing the food that will replace the items that were deleted
• involving multiple people in meal preparation
• compromising and have four completely gluten-free meals per week and three meals for which there are multiple options

By concentrating on the positive, you build excitement regardless of which choice you choose.

No More Black and White Thinking!

How do you avoid analysis paralysis when making a decision?

Realize and counteract the negativity bias for which your brain is wired.

What’s next?

If you’ve read to the end of this article, my guess is that you occasionally deal with analysis paralysis when making decisions.😊

As an outside observer, I help my coaching clients see a wide range of possibilities and then they are able to make the best decision given their options.

If you’re stuck in analysis paralysis concerning optimizing your life after a medical diagnosis, it’s time for a complimentary Exploratory Call with me.

I look forward to hearing from you!