5 Tips to Navigate the 2020 Holidays More Easily

The holiday season has begun. Is your mind is buzzing with thoughts of how to celebrate the holidays in the midst of a pandemic?

If so, you’re not alone! This pandemic is a major life transition for EVERYONE. The holidays will be impacted. However, all isn’t gloom and doom. With a little knowledge and resourcefulness, the holidays will still be meaningful.

Let’s get started!

#1 Recognize your grief.

You go through grief during a major life transition. While there are many models of grief, I’ve boiled it down to three phases: Daze, Distress, and Discover.  In this non-linear season-of-life, you move back-and-forth between these phases.

Daze includes reactions like shock, denial, and numbness. People are often challenged by easy tasks and decision-making. In the COVID-19 world, you were probably dazed in the first couple of months of the pandemic and may still feel it occasionally. The “Daze Phase” may return if COVID takes an unexpected turn.

Distress involves sadness, anxiety, insomnia, loss of appetite, and other signs of emotional suffering. There isn’t one specific method to move beyond the distress. Usually a combination of strategies, such as talking (with a friend or professional), exercise, self-care, or medical support.

Discover happens when you accept the changes which have occurred during the life tradition. You are functioning similarly to how you were prior to the upheaval. You reconnect with what brings joy.

Grief must run its course. How people experience a life transition and the amount of time in grief differs for everyone, even if they are going through it simultaneously. Acknowledging the grief process helps you pass through it more easily.

#2 Delete the word “normal” from your vocabulary.

Things won’t “return to normal” because you’re in a “different place.” Circumstances have changed and you’ve adapted. You have learned more about yourself and others.

Plus, who defines what’s “normal”? Even if you change the idea of “normal” to “I want things to return to how they were before COVID” (or whatever life transition you are experiencing), other aspects of life will have changed in the meantime. You won’t be able to replicate exactly how things were previously. I’m not saying this to discourage you. Instead, I’d like you to…

#3 Develop new mindset.

While not easy, it is freeing! For me a combination of awareness, a consistent mindfulness practice, and a gratitude routine have been a huge help in crafting a new mindset.

Being a “word person,” here are a few phrases you can “try out” to see if they help shift your mindset.

• Current Reality. It isn’t permanent, it’s just what’s happening right now. You have the power to change things.
• Plot Twist. Just like the story-line of a book can take an unforeseen turn, so does life. “Life as you know it” isn’t over. Things are just different, and possibly even better!
• Redefined Status Quo. Since some features of life before COVID are changed forever, it’s necessary to adjust your “baseline life.”
• Period of Possibilities. What activities did you stop doing that you don’t want to resume when the transition is over? What did you start during the transition that you’d like to continue? It’s a great time to design a lifestyle that is more in-line with your values.
• New Chapter. In a book, one chapter ends and a new one begins. The same can happen in life. Maybe it’s time to start your own new chapter.

#4 Acknowledge differences in your ability to manage energy, time, schedule, tasks, and stuff.

With COVID, wearing a mask, remembering to sanitize hands, and the other precautions can be exhausting. Among other things, they consume physical, mental, and emotional energy. As a result, planning, problem-solving, and other executive functions aren’t as available for tasks as usual. If you also try to do everything that you regularly do, you’ll be extra tired. Modifications need to be made to better manage your energy and time. For instance, schedule your most important tasks during your highest energy time. Part of this is learning to…

#5 Dismiss your “yes” auto-responder & exercise your “no” muscle.

Even during a life transition, you still only have 24 hours in a day. You can’t keep adding to an already full schedule, and most life transitions consume additional time! Instead of saying “yes” immediately upon getting a request for your time, PAUSE. Say (or think), “I will check my schedule and get back to you.” Consider how the task fits with your values. If it doesn’t, delete it. If it is important, can it be deferred or delegated?

Since the holidays and COVID are happening simultaneously, you may want to experiment with one small strategy and then add others as makes sense for you.

I would be remiss if I didn’t give you some tips specific to the 2020 holidays:

• Decide which traditions are the most important and put other ones on pause until next year.
• Determine what safety precautions are non-negotiable for you. Are you following CDC guidelines? Are there other requirements? Is everyone you’re celebrating with in-person in agreement? If not, can a compromise be reached or do alternative plans need to be made?
• Prepare for masks and hand-washing. There will be six people at my house. Downstairs I have a powder room and the kitchen sink. I plan to have a couple of bottles of hand-sanitizer strategically placed. Because my parents are in their 80’s, we will wear masks except when eating. I plan to give everyone a paper lunch bag labeled with their name to contain the masks while we eat. I don’t want masks placed on surfaces.
• Consider decreasing the total amount of time together. As previously mentioned, it’s tiring to wear a mask. It’s extra exhausting when you’re being social.

I hope these strategies and tips make your holidays more enjoyable. Have other ideas? Mention them in the comments below. If organizing your tasks and projects feels overwhelming, call 919.467.7058 or email admin@LifeTransitionsOrganizing.com and discover how we can help you navigate these holidays with more control and peace-of-mind.