5 Ways to Prepare for Life's Unexpected Transitions

If it’s unexpected, what do you mean “prepare” for it? But the truth is, some of our life transitions are things we can guess — at least a little bit. If you’re thinking like Janice about the next decade and what’s ahead, you might want to do a little prep to make it easier. Most of us don’t like change! Preparing, even mentally, can make change a lot easier.

So how can you do that? Here are some steps to get you started:

Let go of control. First, recognize that we cannot control things or truly plan or prepare. I know that’s obvious. But sometimes, we just need to hear it again. As the famous Serenity prayer goes, we need the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Make a list of the changes. To that end, having courage to change what we can (or at least handle the change as it smashes into us!) can be helped along by some planning. As one article put it, you can “take charge of the change,” — at least a little. So, take a look at the next 10 years, as Janice has done. Make a list if it helps, or just think through it in your mind.
1. What do you know for sure will change or occur?
2. What can you reasonably predict might occur?
Consider what you WANT to change. While we’re talking about the changes that happen TO us, this reflection can be spun the other way. As Janice said, not everyone wants to or can think about where they want to be in 10 years, but you might find it useful to consider, especially if it involves a big move. Maybe you’ve always dreamed about living in another country, for example.
Create some files or checklists. Janice had some useful examples related to her list of what to reasonably expect. Yours might be very different. Just a few that spring to mind:
1. Estate planning for yourself. If you haven’t yet, you should create a Will and name a Power of Attorney.
2. Financial planning for children or retirement. Set up or add more to your retirement accounts, meet with a financial planner. Set up a college fund. You might set up a savings account for your child’s wedding. Maybe you’ve set the goal of paying off debt; then you can outline a plan for doing that.
3. Make sure your partner/friend/spouse/child has access to your passwords just in case. What if something happened to you, even at a young age? Our digital lives can get pretty messy; make sure someone can find out how to log in to things.
4. If you have a big something coming up, you might begin a checklist for that. Just like I used a neat checklist book to plan my wedding, you can create an outline for handling aging parents. (Is there a book for that? If not, there should be!) You might create or find a checklist for helping your child apply to colleges.
5. Maybe your plan is an outline of sorts with the coming years and some expected things, such as the year you want to do a house renovation or downsize to a smaller home.
6. Maybe yours is a list of the must-haves in a new home, such as Janice wanting a one-story house.
7. Your checklist or file might be some research about something. For example, I’ve know a few people who began thinking about and researching divorce long before they started the process. If you’re considering a career change, your list might be some of the things you need to do to make that transition, such as making specific connections or taking classes.
Pack an emergency bag. While Janice mentions this as part of her needs for aging parents, I love this idea. If you have anxiety about the future, having an emergency bag is one way to feel like you have at least that much covered. In North Carolina, we must prepare for hurricanes, and of course, you should have that kit ready at all times. But if your life took a sudden weird turn, what would you need to have done? What would you want to have with you? This might be organizing your home in a way that you can find your wallet and phone in a flash. It might be literally having a bag with a few clothes and an extra toothbrush plus the phone number for your insurance company. Figuratively, our “emergency bags” are often things such as a Will or knowing whom we would call or where we would go if we needed help. While it only takes a moment to think through that, you will likely feel calmer if something happened because you mentally prepared, even in that small way.

My Preparation

I found this exercise more challenging than I expected, possibly because I’m in the middle of life. What I know for sure:

My husband and I will turn 40.
My daughter will start kindergarten and reach high school before the decade ends. That will require some adjustments for sure.
My last two grandparents will pass away, as will my husband’s.
My parents and husband’s parents may (but hopefully not) experience challenges associated with aging. Given where our parents and siblings live, we’re most likely to have to help his parents rather than mine.

I could reasonably predict that either my husband or I will change jobs, but we have no plans to relocate from Raleigh. For me, this exercise was more about the things I WANT to happen in the next 10 years. These include:

A home renovation, probably in the next two years.
Various vacations and trips we’re planning.
Expansion of my business, though I’m still trying to set a more concrete and attainable goal for what that means.
The goal of living and working remotely in another country for one month.

As you can see, your preparation for life’s transitions is going to be very different based on your age, location, whether you have kids or a partner/spouse, whether your parents are living or may need care, your career/job goals, and more. We hope these examples give you some ideas of what your transitions might be and how to prepare for them!