How to Survive a Partially Planned Transition
Life transitions are not all alike. Some you know are coming and can plan down to the last detail. Others arrive unannounced, such as a sudden illness or accident to you or a family member. Others allow you some planning, but not all. Such transitions are among the most challenging because it’s easy to feel frustrated when you know something is coming but can’t fully prepare.
Examples of these transitions are:
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Merging your business with another
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Having a baby
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Starting your child in kindergarten/school
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We’re sure you can come up with many others!
Preparing — But Only Partway
Life is messy, isn’t it? For some people, this mess is no big deal. Others love to control as much as they can and find life unbelievably impossible when stuff happens. Most of us probably fall somewhere in the middle. The first step in dealing with a “halfway-plannable” transition is to accept that it’s going to be a challenge. You might think of yourself as an orchestra conductor. You are waving your baton and keeping the beat, instructing things to happen, but if the violinist misses his cue, well, there’s not much you can do about that.
How to Partially Prepare
1. Start with your mental preparation. If you know a tough transition is coming, you might increase your amount of exercise, meditation, or visits with a therapist if that will help you. We tend to ignore our mental and emotional health, but such things can later impact your physical self and certainly your overall well being.
2. Next, examine your commitments and calendar. A challenging transition often means the addition of new responsibilities. Try removing or delegating a few to make some space. This may take time, so start early. You might not renew your volunteer commitment to an organization after your term is up, for example. Then, when you have your new workflow or lifeflow all set, you can add items back.
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For example, you know you’re having a baby, and while you expect maternity leave, you might not know how you’ll feel after six to 12 weeks when you return to work. You may consider coming back part-time or coordinating with colleagues about your workload that first week as you ease into things.
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In the business example, you might not add any new clients for a month or two before the merger in an effort to keep things running smoothly. What you do obviously depends on your transition, your personality, and the specifics.
3. Make a list. Or more than one. You may need a list or order of steps to guide you through your transition. This list might be a simple string of to-do items, such as things to buy and do before you have a baby, with no dates attached. But it might be in a specific order, too, a calendar outline of what needs to happen when for a successful business merger. Even if your list doesn’t require dates, consider adding some to motivate you. That way you’re not saving all the to-dos for the last minute.
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In the baby example, you’re buying a lot of new things, but your list will also include packing a hospital bag, creating a birthing plan, attending related classes, setting up the baby’s room, and getting on the waiting list for daycare. Of course, there are many more!
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In the business example, your list might include some of the legal aspects and paperwork to sign. You might also speak to your new partner about what this will mean for all clients and then you’ll need to inform everyone. A merger might mean new offices and the logistics there, or letting go of old team members, hiring new ones, and merging bookkeeping.
4. Start preparing. You can choose to tackle those to-dos based on the dates you have outlined or decide to accomplish one or two per week, depending on your time. As you go, you’ll no doubt think of other things to add to the list. Careful with that! As you find yourself adding items, ask yourself if they are truly needed or more of a nice-to-have. If the latter, put them at the bottom of your list or try delegating them, if possible. That way if you don’t quite get to them, it’s OK, and you’ve focused your efforts on the critical pieces.
Embrace the Transition
Here comes the tricky part! Once you’ve accomplished as much as you can in advance, it’s time to wait and see how things go. You might think of this like the orchestra again, with you handling items as they arrive. Or, if you’re a water person, think of it like surfing, with you riding the wave of change — not letting it control you, but letting it take you. We often think of life transitions as something to get through, but they are just as much a part of life as that boring Tuesday when nothing happened, so try to be mindful and enjoy the moment. As you’re transitioning:
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Stick to your system. Write down to-dos as you think of them, so you don’t feel like you’re always forgetting things or trying to keep everything in your head.
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Remember, some things you’ll think of must happen, and others are “well that would be nice.” Differentiate the two so you don’t get overwhelmed. Sure, you “should” do X, but is it indispensable? If not, don’t fret if you can’t get to it.
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Ask for help. Many of us dislike doing so, but sometimes life is a lot, and it’s OK to ask for help. You can pay people to handle some items and ask friends or family with others.
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Let some things go. You might discover the transition is more challenging than you thought. Maybe you need to resign from that board or committee instead of just taking a few weeks off. Transitions are also a time we tend to re-examine our priorities. If yours shift, you may find your commitments need to shift as well.
Contact us to find out how we can help you stay organized during your next transition!
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