5 Tactics for When Another Person’s Life Transition Alters Your Schedule

You’re in the middle of a busy day when the phone rings and you hear, “I just broke my arm and I’m waiting for the ambulance to take me to the hospital.”

Sounds like an emergency, right? Get a cast; maybe some physical therapy. Then things will return to “normal.”

When I got such a call from my mom in mid-2016, I had no idea how drastically my life would change.

Previously I’ve discussed the difference between transitions and changes. I’ve also explored approaches for handling the stuff that comes with someone else’s life transition.

Here we’ll tackle strategies for managing your calendar when someone else’s life transition impinges on your time.

The scenario: June, 2016 my mom broke the radius and ulna of her dominant arm, requiring surgery. Unplanned surgery and doctor’s appointments meant I had to cancel clients and time I’d set aside for writing, marketing, and other work-related tasks.

I figured once she healed, life would go back to “normal.” I thought wrong.

This was the beginning of the effects of aging becoming evident on my mom. Some schedule adjustments were planned: taking mom to a high school reunion in another state because her arm hadn’t healed enough for her to travel alone. Some impacts were schedule-disrupters: she broke the same arm in January 2017, requiring another surgery.

Since it’s impossible to “un-age,” I anticipate that my schedule will continue to alter in the coming years.

I’ve learned a few lessons along the way which can be applied regardless of the person whose life transition influences your calendar.

Unplanned

Take a moment. When an unanticipated life transition comes, your mind immediately goes into overdrive. You think about what that person needs as well as what you need to change in your calendar.

Instead, close your eyes and take at least three deep breaths. This helps you focus.

Write it down. Immediately after taking those breaths, decide how you are going to take notes. This can be everything from a task list or information regarding the specific situation, to how you’re going to rearrange your day(s).

You can decide to record this information in a notebook or on a notepad. You might opt for taking notes electronically on your phone, which then syncs with other devices. You could record the data verbally. It doesn’t matter as long as you have a plan which makes them easy to access both when you need to add more information and when you need to retrieve any data.

An unplanned life transition is hectic enough, you don’t need the additional stress of not remembering how or where you stored information.

Grab a crisis bag. I’m not talking about a Go or Emergency Bag that you’d take if there was a natural disaster. However, unplanned life transitions often involve waiting of unknown lengths. You can minimize any stress associated with the waiting by having some basic supplies handy.

As such, you may want to have a small cloth bag readily available that’s already filled with the following supplies:

• Reading material: magazine, book, etc. If you prefer audiobooks, make sure you have several already loaded onto your e-reader.

• Small headphones so you can listen to music or an audiobook.

• Device charger(s) and/or power cord(s).

• Short power strip with surge protection.

• Water bottle.

• Non-perishable food such as protein bars, nuts, etc.

Planned

Preference. Although my mom is active, many of her activities are optional. So when scheduling doctor’s appointments for her, we try for early afternoon. My high energy time is in the morning, so I can still be productive. And if we can get the first appointment after lunch, a doctor is usually closer to being on time.

Sometimes we have to work around my mom’s schedule or the availability of the doctor, however, when possible, we work with my preferences. This also creates less stress for me.

Balance. It is likely that you have several roles with the person experiencing a life transition. In this scenario, I am the adult child and the caregiver. So I try to balance my time in these areas. For instance, when we have an afternoon doctor appointment, I usually stay for dinner. This way I’m a caregiver and then a daughter.

It would be stressful for both of us if I only saw or talked to my mom as her caregiver.

In a different life stage? Other life transitions may also turn your plans into turmoil.

• Student-athlete who suffers a broken limb

• Waiting for an appointment with a professional, such as realtor or attorney

• Travel delays

• and many others

The common thread running through these lessons is self-care.

If you’re like me, your schedule is busy on the most “normal” day, to say nothing of during someone else’s life transition. As such, anything you do to mitigate stress is helpful for you and all you have contact with.

In conjunction with the strategies above, planning in extra self-care is important. Design activities with different lengths of time. For example, if you have a mindfulness practice that you generally do 10 minutes a day, don’t abandon it altogether. However, if you feel like you “just can’t give up 10 minutes each day,” consider trimming it to three minutes a day during this stressful time.

Other options include:

• take a brief walk in nature

• watch a humorous video for 10 minutes

• get a short neck massage

• read to a young child (yours or someone else’s)

The possibilities are endless.

There will always be people in your life experiencing transitions. Implementing tactics which lessen the disruption to your life is important.

Whether or not another person’s life transition is currently altering your calendar, you may still be experiencing schedule-overwhelm. Minding Your Matters has worked with hundreds of clients, both virtually and on-site, to reach their time management goals. Reach out today at 919-467-7058 (non-textable) or via our website.
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This article is part of a mini-series on life transitions as they relate to your stuff, schedule, and tasks. If you missed related articles, you can find them here: Creating and Maintaining Organization & Productivity During Life Transitions.