Tips for Downsizing in a Divorce
Divorce affects so many people; it’s certainly an example of the life transitions we have talked about in this newsletter this year. Few of us might predict divorce for ourselves or for our friends, but when it happens, both parties are left with emotional and physical baggage. While we can’t help you manage the emotional, cleaning out some of the physical baggage may actually help you make a fresh start. In many cases, it’s necessary, because a divorce often leads to at least one person moving to a new home. Here are some thoughts if this is your situation.
1. The Wedding Dress – As we wrote in a blog post recently, the wedding dress becomes literal baggage, especially if you’re moving to a new city. You have no idea what your future might bring. If you can’t bear to part with it, you can ask someone to store it for you or pay for storage, though 
that seems silly to some. Maybe you’re saving it for a daughter or other family member, and that’s OK, too. In most cases, though, it’s best to find a way to give the dress a new life, a new start, with someone else who needs it now. Our post outlines some of your options for this.
2. Delete a lot — but not everything. Divorce is so painful in some cases that you might feel like abandoning almost all of your belongings. Doing so isn’t economical for most of us. After all, you don’t want to buy all new dishes, right? Plus, you might wish you’d at least kept any boxes from childhood or your single-life mementos. Depending on your situation, you might want to also keep a few items from your early married life, if those were good times. That’s up to you. However, while you downsize for your move, you should probably take at least the practical stuff so you can get started in your new life. Focus on the basic necessities. Furniture, clothes, kitchen items, toiletries. What are your daily needs in a new home?
3. Organize sparingly. This sounds like odd advice from professional organizers, but now’s not the time to dig through every darn box in the attic or basement. Assuming you didn’t leave abruptly for your own safety, it’s OK to take some time to pack, but it’s not the time to figure out who gets which Christmas ornaments. If you and your ex-person are on decent terms, you can work out some of that later.
4. Donate what you can/want. Depending on how you and your ex-spouse are splitting things, you might still end up with stuff you don’t want. Ask friends and family to browse your clothes pile and then donate the rest to charity.
5. Don’t worry about unpacking. For some, unpacking in a new space will feel therapeutic. For others, those boxes are nothing but painful reminders. If you’re overwhelmed, allow yourself to leave the non-critical stuff for a later day — even if that day doesn’t come for another year or more. Grab the dishes and bedding and focus on your fresh start.
Do you have a tip for downsizing during a divorce? What worked for you? Share with us on our Facebook page.
